Eliasz, School of Tantra of the Heart, Formation of Psychodynamics of Relations and Body Communication, 4th meeting, 2024

I just got home from another meeting of Eagles – the fourth one already. During the time we spent together I had the opportunity to set off on a magical journey deep inside myself, deep inside my body. Thanks to this expedition I noticed many models according to which I create my life. Well, exactly… I create.

I kind of knew it, but only a physical experience allowed me to fully understand it. Even Solomon couldn’t pour from an empty cup – each of us probably knows this as a proverb. However, it is only now that I understand its depth. If I do not give energy to the universe, then the universe will not want to, but will simply not have energy to give me. If I do not share my joy, happiness with others, others will not share with me. If I do not open myself to miracles, then even if miracles were happening around me all the time, I would not notice them. If I do not take full responsibility for my life and choices, then the universe, taking care of me, will not give me what I want. Not because it does not like me or anything. Because it cares for me and gives me only and as much as I open myself to. So I open myself to abundance.

Another great experience was noticing that trust is not a reaction to someone’s behavior towards me. Trust is a force flowing from within. It is a stream of energy connecting us with divinity. Thanks to this, I see that every event or person I meet on my path is a gift from heaven. I open myself to trust in being guided by higher wisdom.

For a large part of my life, betrayal appeared in it. Betrayal by a woman, by a man. And that’s how my life went on. From betrayal to betrayal. In the end, I cheated on the group myself. I began to be consumed by remorse. Every now and then the thought of it returned. I was afraid that admitting it could equal being thrown out of the formation. At the same time, I knew that if I didn’t release it, neither the group nor I would go any further. I chose the path of truth. I took full responsibility for my life. Even though I was scared as hell, I threw myself into the abyss, trusting the guidance of higher wisdom. And a miracle happened! I discovered my worth, I learned my strength. I saw how much the mind manipulated me, only to remain in the old pattern of behavior… That same night I had a dream that made me realize that these betrayals no longer concern me. I felt freedom and boundless joy. Finally, I can say to myself “I am proud of myself”.

The next exercises and rituals allowed me to get rid of the false belief that I was conceived as a result of abuse. I understood how important determination is and how much beauty comes from fulfilled dreams (even if it was a dream of baking an apple pie). I felt how much love, wildness and good fun accompanied that moment when my soul chose my parents as my teachers. I connected with my inner child and opened up femininity and masculinity, passivity and activity. I released the trauma of sexual abuse. I made the decision that I choose pleasure. I recognized myself in others and others in myself. I went beyond the “I”. I dissolved my body in nothingness, I wandered through all its nooks and crannies. And I gave birth to the Milky Way… but that’s a story for the initiated…

Aha… If you think you know that everything changes, then make sure that you not only know it but you are also constant, unceasing change. Because there is a place where time does not exist, I’m not kidding. A place to which everyone can find their way… Some call it the source. Others call it the Open Heart.

Finally, I received information that intuition is the voice of God. I open myself to it!

All this was possible thanks to Gaya and Mario, and the entire Family of ‘Modra Rzeka’. I bow before you with humility, respect and joy that we will meet again soon!